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The funny side of snooker-n-pool
Monkey in a pool club!
A man walked into a bar with his pet monkey.
The bartender said, "You can't bring that monkey in here!" The man replied, "Don't worry, he won't cause any trouble."
Within seconds the monkey jumped on the pool table and swallowed the cue ball. The bartender yelled, "Hey, he just ate my cue ball. No one can play pool anymore! Get out!" So the monkey and the man left.
The man left but came back one week later with his monkey. He apologized to the bartender and promised no more trouble. The bartender let him and the monkey stay.
Later that night, the monkey walked over to a bowl of grapes, put one in his ass, and then ate it. The bartender said, "That's disgusting! Why did he do that!"
The man said, "Since he swallowed the cue ball, he sizes everything up before he eats it."
Animal Snooker!
There was an elephant a snake and a gorilla in the jungle, the snake said, "Shall we have a game of snooker?" The elephant replied "How can we play snooker when we haven't got a table."
So the snake said, "We can pretend, instead of hitting the ball, we'll each do a trick, whoever does the best trick will get the most points."
The gorilla said "OK I'll go first, I'll climb up that tree swing around that branch 3 times do a double somersault and land on my feet, that's got to be worth the black ball and that's 7 points."
The elephant said "No it's not worth 7 points because your good at climbing trees, we'll give you the blue and that's worth 5 points."
The gorilla said, "OK" and off he went up the tree, he swung round the branch 3 times did a double somersault and landed on his feet.
The elephant said "I'll climb up the tree swing around the branch twice do a single somersault and land on my feet, that's got to be worth 7 points because I can't climb trees very well."
So the snake and the gorillas said, "OK if you can do that we'll give you 7 points."
The elephant went up the tree swung round the branch twice did the somersault and landed on his feet with an almighty bang.
The snake said, "That was brilliant," "So what are you going to do snake" the gorilla asked.
"Well, I'll go up the elephants bum through his intestine and out of his trunk, that's got to be worth 7 points" said the snake.
The gorilla said, "If you can do that we'll give you 7 points." so off went the snake up the elephants bum.
The gorilla got hold of the elephants trunk and stuck it up his bum and said "That's got him Snookered!!".
Monster!
Did you hear about the snooker-mad monster?
He went to the doctor because he didn't feel well. "What do you eat?" asked the doctor.
"For breakfast I have a couple of red snooker balls, and at lunchtime I grab a black, a pink and two yellows. I have a brown with my tea in the afternoon, and then a blue and another pink for dinner."
"I know why you are not feeling well," exclaimed the doctor. "You're not getting enough greens."
Q: What have a snooker table and a coat got in common?
A: They both have pockets.
Q: What do you call a woman with a pint of beer on her head playing snooker?
A: Beatrix Potter!
Q: Why did the witch wear a green felt pointy hat?
A: So she could walk across snooker tables without being seen!
Q:
How do u make a pool table laugh?
A: Put your hands in the pockets and tickle its balls.
Q: What is green, has four legs and can kill you if it falls onto you out of a tree?
A: snooker table.
A: What is the difference between a market gardener and a snooker player?
Q: One mines his peas, the other minds his cues!
Q:
how do you make a snooker table laugh?
A: put your hands in its pockets n play with its balls
Shooting
Pool
-Wife-
"That's
OK honey. No problem. I hope you have
a
good time. See you later".
Then
she puts down the receiver.
"Who
was that?", asks the man lying besides
her
in bed.
"My
husband", she replies. "What did he want?".
"Nothing,
he said he would be home late today.
He's
somewhere shooting pool with you and
some
other colleagues".